‘My self esteem is what makes me happy’
Thursday Thunder is back! Come and get your body confidence fix! This gorgeous lady from South Africa has been in my Instagram feed for a while now, and I love about everything she posts. This fashion student, stylist and personal shopper got me very curious. So I decided to ask Yoliswa Mqoco to share her Thunder. When it comes to self-love her message is about as empowering as it gets.
“My secret to my body confidence is simple. It’s personal. It has absolutely nothing do with anyone and their opinion on it because it’s mine and really shouldn’t be anyone’s business but my own. That way of thinking blocks off the outside world dictating your level of confidence in your body. I’ve never compared my body to others, but when I was younger I did question it. But I never ever got clear answers, so because of that slight frustration I quickly developed a ‘fuck it’-approach to my body because I’m just not the kind of person who dwells on things. And even in me questioning why I looked different I did box body image topics as trivial because there is honestly way more important things to worry about in life, and in mine. I’ve been to hell and back so me being a couple of kilograms heavier than most was honestly the last thing I had the time for, as a lesbian woman my process of coming out was one of the only things that shook my world.”
‘I love my the arch in my waist and how it goes so intensely in, I think it’s the sexiest thing about me’
“I’ve always been body positive. I’ve been plus sized my whole life. When I was growing up I just thought that the same way people are different races and come different countries, I just have a different body to other women and really didn’t think anything of it cause I really just thought of my body as being normal to me. I had never seen myself as anything else but normal so loving myself came so easy. My relationship with my body is made up of mutual understanding. I love my body. I’m proud of it. And I understand it. So it’s a healthy relationship. I love my the arch in my waist and how it goes so intensely in. I think it’s the sexiest thing about me. And also even with my curves I think I have a well proportioned body. But besides that I do love my face. I really appreciate my facial features. In regards to fashion, I’ve always had a out of the box way of dressing that always catered for my curves. My sense of style was built around curves and not the other way around. I understand my body and what works for me, I have years of research and have found so many curve friendly places so shopping has always been easy.”
‘Society isn’t aware that beauty isn’t in one single idea, it’s in many ideas’
“I look at myself as a really beautiful woman. And I’m really proud of myself, I could have easily hated myself and my body because of how society is set up, but I didn’t, and will never. My self esteem is what makes me happy. Society is fixated in having blue prints and mandates on beauty. Society isn’t aware that beauty isn’t in one single idea, it’s in many ideas. I was always aware of this and became even more aware of it in the industry I am in now. It gets to me because I hate a tunnel visioned way of looking at things, but not in the sense of it having a effect on my body image but because man alone is not strong enough to taint the healthy relationship I have with my body. Beauty to me is when you have found peace and established a intimate, truthful relationship with your body. If that home has been built within yourself it will be impossible for it not carry out to the exterior, and that’s when everyone will start seeing your beauty. True confidence is when you don’tneed anyone else’s approval on yourself but your own.”
‘When my face is dolled up I can’t help but to feel invincible’
“On days I feel down I take my make up case out. When my face is dolled up I can’t help but to feel invincible. Make up is a lot fun for me. So once I look like a barbie, selfies are sure to follow then I really start feeling on top of the world. I use it as time to improve my make up skills because the more I feel like I know what I’m doing, the more I feel great about it, and that already is a mood changer. In regards to fashion, I’m just a really expressive person so I use every outlet available to me to express myself and fashion is a really huge way. Once I feel like I’m expressing myself that’s how I start feeling even more great about myself. Fashion assists heavily in this.”
‘No human being alive is perfect and we are all flawed’
“I barely get negative reactions to how I celebrate my body. But the few times I did, it went in one ear and out the other to be honest. I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing, I’m honestly too damn fly to give bullshit an actual listen. No human being alive is perfect and we are all flawed, so I can’t take the opinion of a flawed human being to heart because they really just don’t have the right as they are flawed themselves. I protect my happiness with aligning it with God. That’s the only way I’m certain it’s protected.”
‘My mom is probably the root of why I love myself so deeply’
“My mom is my role model. I got my outlook on myself from her. My mom is literally half my size and so are my sisters, but she never ever made me feel like I was any different to them. My mom has loved me perfectly just the way I am. She has always told me that I am beautiful and is very vocal about that. And that’s probably the root reason why I love myself so deeply. And any woman who can love their daughter like that will absolutely be my role model. My mom always told me to be kind to myself and once I did that I wouldn’t need any once else to be kind to me.”
Want to see more of this gorgeous lady? Follow her on Instagram!